Gimme! I Want Now!
As a writer, it’s hard to hear of other writers successes. Jealousy is an emotion I’m not fond of. A rather religious friend would say that it comes from the devil, but I rather think that it is a normal human emotion that we all feel at times. If we allow it to win, it can ruin our lives and our happiness, and destroy relationships. But hearing of the successes of others when we ourselves aren’t feeling very successful or creative can be like twisting a knife in your side when you’ve already thought you dug it in as far as it could go.
I’ve learned to turn that jealousy into something positive, to not allow the negativity to grow within me. Yes, for a moment, admittedly, it’s there, but then I think of how hard my friends have worked and how difficult it must’ve been for them to get where they are now, and then I can’t help but feel proud of them for what they’ve achieved, whether it be making that first sale, the bestseller list, or snagging their dream-agent. I know that I will accomplish all of my goals, and that my someday can be sooner rather than later, instead of never. It will take patience, persistence and a lot of rewriting on my part, but I never expected things to be any different. I love writing, in particular, telling stories. Creating characters and putting them in situations and giving them issues to overcome to find happiness in the end, is why I write. I don’t’ do it to compete – although I am a competitive person, my drive comes from passion for telling a good story rather then from the need for being first in line.
As intense an emotion as jealousy is, you can learn from it. You can let it control your life, or you can tell it to get lost and do something about how it makes you feel. It doesn’t have to run your life or be behind the decisions you make. Now when I hear of new sales, strides and accolades writer friends have made, I’m truly happy for them. They may have struggled through the same issues I’m dealing with. I have no right to assume that the sale came easy or the book was a breeze to write because sometimes neither is a snap.
I’ve always been told that you have to earn things in life and never expect them to just come to you. Blood, sweat and tears are a way of life, and in my case, when I’ve worked my fingers to the bone and fried almost every surviving brain cell, and I still think I can make it better, I’ll do it. I’ll push and shove until I reach my goal and complete my project. I’m rewriting and reworking a story out of love for the characters and due to my need to have perfection as that is my way. I won’t allow myself to hate others and their successes because I don’t have them yet. I would only be destroying something within myself instead of striving forward and continuing to create my own success.